This Year, Mental Health & 31 Things

This past year has been a roller coaster. In March, I said goodbye to the PR world and started two new careers - healthcare marketing and radio. It was wonderfully overwhelming being the new girl at not one, but two different companies in two unrelated fields. 

Despite finally realizing my dream of working in radio in Vegas, I've struggled to find happiness, and in full disclosure, it's been that way since we left Japan in the summer of 2015. So I spent the last 18 months trying to fix it.

I took vacations. Nothing. I made time for friends. Nada. I trained for a half marathon. Nope. I signed up to work every single day, sometimes leaving my house at 7:30 a.m. and getting home well after midnight. Better, but only because it made me too exhausted to think.

And I got a lot of flack from well-meaning friends and family about working constantly, but the honest truth is that staying busy kept my mind occupied. It meant my mind was too busy to dwell and stew, resulting in a further fall into the darkness. Plus, even if I would have been physically available, I wasn't available mentally, and I care too much to drag you through that.

But I want you to know that it wasn't all empty. There were moments of light. They were brief, but they were there. For the most part, it has been a concentrated effort to wake up every morning, and each morning finds me hoping that it will be the day that I snap out of it. Be happy again. 

Now reflecting on the past year, I realize maybe I've been a bit too passive about this whole situation, sitting and waiting for the happiness to return. Maybe I need to plan and focus a little harder instead of just trying to stay afloat. Start swimming instead of just treading the water.

So 2017 will be the year of swimming. Making actionable plans and physical steps towards what brings lightness to me. I realize that I didn't need to wait for the start of the new year to do any of these things, but this is what works for me. So how do we start swimming?

Back in 2014, my friends and I went on an overnight cruise through the Halong Bay in Vietnam. After a day of kayaking and exploring, we spent the evening playing Never Have I Ever. If you're unfamiliar with the game, whoever's turn it is has to say something they have never done. Anyone playing who has done what was said has to take a drink.

During the game, there was this Australian guy who literally had to drink with every single turn, which never really happens. At one point in the night, we asked him how he had done all of those things for being relatively young. He told us that every single year, whatever his age is that year, he comes up with that many tasks to complete before his next birthday. 

Now, three years later, I'm ready to do mine own. Thirty-one things to accomplish before I blow out the candles next January. Here they are:

1. Run another half marathon. [   ] 
2. Run 365 miles. [   ]
3. Get a stamp in my passport [   ]
    She's been collecting way too much dust since we left Japan.
4. Purge and giveaway clutter. [   ]
5. Read 10 pages a day. [   ]
6. Make a craft from Pinterest. [   ]
    It's time to actually do something with all those pins.
7. Try yoga again. [   ]
    Maybe it's like running where I have to CONSISTENTLY try it.
8. Practice daily gratitude. [   ]
    I actually did this in 2014 and it was amazing to start the new year with 365 events and
    moments that made me happy over the past year.
9. Blog once a month. [1/12]
    Yes, I'm counting this one. My list, my rules.
10. Take a me day once a month. [0/12]
11. Hike and camp Havasu. [   ]
12. Host a party. [   ]
13. See a Cirque show. [   ]
14. Update my resume. [   ]
15. Have a day of zero negativity. [   ]
16. Learn to curl my hair. [   ]
      It's embarrassing I don't know how to do this at this point in my life.
17. Plan a date night. [   ]
18. Learn how to grill. [   ]
19. Read a classic novel. [   ]
20. Send a card to someone each month. [0/12]
21. Try a new restaurant with Mark. [   ]
      We really need to go to The Strip more for dinner.
22. Hike Red Rocks. [   ]
      I literally drive past this every damn day, and 18 months in we STILL haven't done it.
23. Try a makeup look from Pinterest. [   ]
24. Start meal prepping again.
25. Listen to a new CD every week. [0/52]
26. Color once a week. [0/52]
27. See a play or go to a museum. [   ]
28. Go golfing. [   ]
29. Go to a concert. [   ]
      And not one that I have to work.
30. Edit all the photos sitting in Lightroom.
31. Go skiing.