It's For the Cats

Anyone who has known me, even for a short period of time, knows I'm a horrible housewife. I'm an excellent cleaner (if that's what you will call it), yet I often put it off until all hope is gone. The dust bunnies have created several generations by the time I wipe out their bunny city. I also am a hopeless cook. Unless it comes in a box with instructions, I can't cook it.

Due to being a horrible cook, I eat pretty much the same things every day. Most people think I'm a picky eater. Not the case, I love trying new food, but my skill set rests somewhere between Easy Bake Oven and Tuna Helper. Plus, I'm lazy.

Being a bit of a health nut, a few of my "staple" meals are eggs, cottage cheese, and canned tuna/chicken. Grocery shopping means getting my cart as close as possible to the tuna can stacks and running my arms along the shelf, like I'm a contestant on Supermarket Sweep. Those closest to me describe my procedures as "shopping like a single lady with cats."

ith Mark being gone for almost a full year, I resolved to teach myself how to cook. There was my first successful baking of chicken breasts in the winter of 2011. Winning!

here were some victories, and when I say victories, I mean it was edible and no one threw up after the meal. However, there was never a request for my recipes. Ever. For about half a year, I cooked these edible meals every Sunday, making enough to cover the week ahead.

Being in a foreign country without my "tools", otherwise known as my glass dish, Crockpot, and measuring cups, and with Mark gone once again, I have reverted to my old shopping style. Eggs? Check. Tuna? Check and check.

As I'm scooping my bounty of tuna into the cart, one of the few people I have met walks down the aisle.

Him: "Hi Sarah! How's it going?"
Me: "Good. How are you?"
Him: "I'm good."

At that point, he peers into my cart and sees enough cans of tuna to feed an entire pet shelter.

Him (curiously): "Oh, do you have cats?"
Me: (sigh) "No...I just eat like one."
Him: "Oh. Well good seeing you."

He walks off and I just laugh at myself. I've gotten so much flack from family, co-workers, and friends for this obsession. I will not apologize for the offensive amount of tuna I consume. I don't care that it makes the whole office smell. I don't care that you have to take the trash out more because of it.

VIVA LA TUNA!